I’m here. I am trying to be coherent and have elaborated thoughts. Why? I don’t know. But the mind always wants to think…and mine likes to over-think. I don’t know why, but I guess I should feel glad my mind likes to think, and that I like to exercise my neurons. However, the gladness of my thinking isn’t as bright as I would like because 3 enemies of mine tend to be in the middle of the situation: Anger, sadness, worry.
Tonight I’m thinking a lot. Thinking about my yesterday thoughts – and once those come to my mind I try to think on what made me think what I was thinking. Very complex.
Many people would think I’m just a lazy person with extra time around my clock to just sit down and do it. Some others can assume my unwanted week-days-loneliness is the one who’s making me think. Whatever it is, I hate it.
I hate it, but I also love it. I love to think. To think makes me appreciate more what I have and makes me delete from my memory what is not important. To think sometimes tend to put me in the most deep depression. I shouldn’t even mention the word “D” because no one likes to hear a person with extreme sadness, with harmful thoughts, with excessive crying. But oh well, this is about thinking.
To think comes with ease to me. I like to think of the existence of things, feelings and the meaning behind what a person tells you. Psychological examination? Paranoia. Sure, it must be.
I’m trying to think as much as needed, as long as it doesn’t hurt my brain. My heart hurts and my brain is saturated. I can’t do it anymore. So, I’m going to direct my thoughts in a positive note, to think on solutions instead of problems. I’m going to show a huge smile to my depression and I’ll take a photo of my smile to show Mr. D I’m stronger than him and that once I promised not to let my thoughts go along with him.
So, here is it is to my over-thinking…I’m showing you a big smile and a huge thank-you note b/c I can appreciate myself and I can think on positive an green instead of being dragged by you and have clouds in my mind.
Take that, over-thinking!
